Fat Charlie
"A weird song with a great piano part."

Okay...I'm going to review this track at the same time I'm listening to it.  Why?  Well, mainly because it's my website and I can pretty much do any darn thing I want to!!  So there!!  

The title of this track already has me geared up to say that it sucks.  I mean - what if my name was Charlie?  So what if I'm a little overweight?  What gives anyone the right to call me fat and then go and make a song about me?  That must suck to high heaven, low heaven, in-between heaven, and any other part of heaven that is a hard to get to place!!  But my name is not Charlie and I'm not fat...so let's listen to a suck song about a fat bastard named Charlie!!

Well I can tell from the opening notes of this track that it is sucking already.  I can feel a pulse wave of suckness coming out of my speakers.  If I move fast enough I could avoid being hit with it upside my head!!

But I can't move that fast......damn that hurt!!

Well that was weird. 

Just as I got hit upside the head with the pulse of suck wave - my MP3 player just stopped dead in it's track.

I mean, nothing is coming out of the speakers now except hiss...and I hate hiss!!  I hate hiss just about as much as I hate who ever told the Olsen Twins that they could do a rap song!!

No....I take that back.  I hate the person who wrote the rap that someone told the Olsen Twins they could do!!  

No...no...here it is - I hate the person who actually encoded the damn file as an MP3, uploaded to the internet and made it freely available for it to end up in my hands to listen to and accidentally pee on myself!!  Yeah - that's who I hate!!

Oh who am I kidding - I hate the Olsen Twins!!

Back to fat ass Charlie.  All I got out of the song (before the hiss started) was that Charlie was fat, and could talk a lot.  He was a big fat ass chatty Cathy with one long ass fat ass string!  And he can kill an MP3 player faster than a fat woman on a donut!

I could fix my MP3 player and finish listening to fat fuck Charlie - but it's gonna be pretty much the same ole fat suck stuff!!  So I'm not even gonna bother.  I'll pretend I listened to the rest - who would know if I did or didn't?

Bottom line Fat Charlie sucks!!

On the Dancing Idiot Thing,  Fat Charlie gets (what looks like) 5 pencils doing the Macarena! (Talk about suck!)

April 2006 Update: Isn't it funny that 4 years ago I did a review about "Fat Charlie" and used the Olsen Twins?
July 2010 Update: YUP!! Still funny about using the Olsen Twins. Funny as in "Ironic" (just for those keeping score!)