I have a new feature that I'm going to add to the other flavors of suck reviews. From time to time, I'm going to review....things. It could be anything. Just things.

So I did a whole "Non-Suck Review" as one of those things.  Now it's time for another one.

It's a review of a fable...so pull up a chair and read my reveiw of the story of "Dark Evil Overlord Xenu" (stop laughing, I'm trying to be serious here!)

The Wicker Man (2006)

Now for something completely different. I bet ya'll didn't know that I actually have friends. Okay...maybe just one.  And he is out of town.  Come to think of it - he has been out of town for a while.  Since high school, actually.  Man!!  How long does it take to visit a sick grandma??

Anyway....there is this other guy I know who I asked to review something for inclusion here on The All Suck Review. And since it's my website (and I can pretty much do anything I want)...please enjoy the first ever All Suck Review on the All Suck Review that I didn't do.

It is an All Suck Review of the movie The Wicker Man . The movie sucks, not the review. (I think that is how it works...I have to read the ASR manual again!!).  Anyway...please welcome W.C. Pence III to the ASR staff and his first review of The Wicker Man !!

(p.s. I added some saweet graphics!! Hope ya'll like!)

Pricilla Hernandez

Sueno Muerto

Well this songs sucks mostly because I can't understand one word that is being sungin... sanged... singegded.... whatever!!

The mellow drum driven background music is nice (because it is in the background and you can't hear it too much...good touch!!)

So....to finish up this suck review, I'll try to do it remembering my freshman year Spanish class. "Thiso songo sucko soo bado, thato ito gavea mea un headacheo." MORE

Infectious is right....like a hooker named Chi-Chi on the corner of 68th and Cottage!!  (Sorry to da homies on 68th and Cottage!). While listening to this infectious little track, I felt a million tiny pin pricks up and down my back. 

At first I thought it could be a bunch of fire ants coming to eat me and put me out of my misery (or at least make it up my spine and eat out my ear drums so I wouldn't have to be subjected to such sucktatude)....but it was just every nerve ending in that part of my body screaming in unison...."THIS SONG SUCKS!!" MORE

Well, it took me a long time to find it....that is - the best way to describe this track. I use "suck" so much - I wanted to find a new, better, different exciting way to tell the world how much of a suck track this track actually is.

So...here goes. MORE

I woke up this morning - that was a thing today.  I took a shower (a thing), got to the train (another thing), went to work (thing), did work (thing, thing, thing, thing, thing).  Every now and then went to the bathroom (not even gonna go there!!)

But I digress!

Thing Today (Funeral Dept.) - Well, what can I say about it besides it sucked?  A lot!! MORE

How the hell are you suppose to do the Honey Bump when you are a One Inch Man?  I'm thinking that would be more like a Honey Nudge!!  Or, at best, a Honey Did You Even Feel Me?  

I don't think this suck review is even going to have to talk about how suck the track was....I'm just reeling on why anyone would name themselves "One Inch Man"???  Did I miss something at our last "Man Meeting"???  Was there a memo that went out that said it was all of a sudden okay to have a small package and proclaim it to the world??  I mean...hey...don't get me wrong!!  If it works...more power to ya!!  MORE